Trusting I AM

As evening came, Jesus said to his disciples, “Let’s cross to the other side of the lake.”  So they took Jesus in the boat and started out, leaving the crowds behind (although other boats followed). But soon a fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, “Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?” When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Silence! Be still!” Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. Then he asked them, “Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” Mark 4:35-40 (NLT)

Jesus, do you say that to me? “Why are you so afraid? Don’t you have faith in me? Don’t you believe what I tell you?” I am sure you do. But Lord, like the disciples I am watching the waves crash on my boat. I’m seeing it fill with water and I feel the pull as it seems to sink just a little lower into the depths of the black. I feel the sting of the cold water as it washes over my body. And Lord, I can’t swim when the waves are so rough.

“Do you trust that I will not let you sink?”

Yes, sort of, but how do I reconcile that you do let some people sink that deep. Some people lose everything - including their lives. That makes me afraid.

“They didn’t sink. I was holding them. What they learned to trust was that my love is not dependent on your circumstances. Just because the waves are fierce doesn’t mean I am not walking in the storm with you. Is it possible that you trust what you see more than you trust who I AM?”