It's A Family Thing

15 years ago I married a Greek. Little did I know how much my life would change. You see, when you marry someone who is Greek, you don’t just marry a  man, you marry into a family and a culture. 

When we first got married, I knew very little about what that meant. I had been exposed to some of it while we were dating but, that was just scratching the surface. Over the years, I’ve learned how to cook Greek food, and I am learning how to read and speak the language (slowly). I’ve learned about the celebrations and because we visit Crete regularly, I know how to find my way around, ask for things (in Greek) and I understand a little about the culture…what’s important to them, what’s not. I’ve learned that while I am there I have to change the way I do things because the way I do things in America, are done differently in Crete. I’ve learned mannerisms and nuances…..like this slight nod people (at least my family) do which means “no.” (Who knew a nod could mean no?) I have stories; some funny, some not so funny, of me learning all this stuff.

Recently, it occurred to me that this transformation of being Greek by marriage is similar to becoming a Christian. When you first get to know Jesus, you start out not knowing anything about being a Christ follower. The things you care about are different. The activities you do don’t seem to be in line with where you are going. Sometimes, it feels like you don’t fit in - like you are an outsider. 

As you spend more time with Jesus each day, you begin to learn things. You adopt different habits, talk about different things, what you care about shifts. You begin to identify with Jesus and what he cares about. There are stories, both funny and not so funny, that happen along your journey. 

One of the blessings that I had when I got married was an amazing Greek family  that helped me. They showed me things; taught me to cook (thanks Mom), explained different traditions and nuances, corrected my pronunciations of words and most importantly, loved me. I never felt like an outsider. 

Hopefully, as you walk with Jesus and learn about Him and His “unforced rhythms of grace”, you have a Christian family that will help you do the same. A family that will walk with you on the journey, always include you, share Jesus with you with their love and actions and help you feel included.

If you don’t have this….go find it. It makes the journey so much easier. The journey with Jesus is supposed to be full of ease and grace. (See Matthew 11:20-30 MSG). We aren’t supposed to walk this alone. It’s always about the relationship with Jesus. The relationship with Him and with the people you call “family”. Super important when you are learning to live this new life and even more important after you’ve been on the journey for a while. We all need each other to grow.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that “the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.” Philippians 1:3-6 (MSG) Find someone to walk it with and lean into the grace that helps you keep walking. 

New Wine

“Soon afterward Jesus began a tour of the nearby towns and villages, preaching and announcing the Good News about the Kingdom of God. He took his twelve disciples with him, along with some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases. Among them were Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons; Joanna, the wife of Chuza, Herod’s business manager; Susanna; and many others who were contributing from their own resources to support Jesus and his disciples.” Luke 8:1-3 NLT

Recently, I came down with some sort of virus. I was sick for a week and a half - draining, coughing, aching, and having no energy. During that time, I was confined to the couch…mostly because I had no energy to do anything else. Normally, if I am sitting on the couch, I watch a lot of TV. It passes the time. This time, I felt really convicted to not watch the junk that I am normally drawn to. So instead, I decided to re-watch The Chosen. If you don’t know what The Chosen is, it’s a series of episodes on the life of Christ. You can download the app and watch it for free. I love it.

As I watched, I noticed how Jesus included the women in his ministry. He took them with him on trips. He included them in teachings and the experiences. They were frequently there, serving and joining in. As I thought about this, two thoughts popped into my mind.

First, Jesus was always surrounded by people. He went to weddings, dinners, crowds followed him everywhere. He was always surrounded by both men and women. During those times, custom would dictate that the women would hang with the women and the men with the men. How ingenious! If the women weren’t part of the group, who would minister to and disciple the other women in these gatherings? Jesus needed the women in his group to continue to share the gospel to places that He or the men in his group couldn’t normally go. And, some of these women had tremendous influence. Not only did they minister during these functions, then they went home and ministered in their homes and communities.

Next, including women in his teaching was complete out of the box thinking. It was unheard of in Jesus’ day for women to be disciples. Women were frequently not educated unless it was in their home. Jesus encouraged them to join in and learn of God. He included them on purpose. He stepped out of the cultural box to bring the change that needed to happen.

Jesus said “And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. For the wine would burst the wineskins, and the wine and the skins would both be lost. New wine calls for new wineskins.” Mark 2:22 NLT

This was new wine — everyone is a disciple, no matter what their social standing, race, or gender. Trying to fit that into the customs of the day would have definitely caused cracks in the old wineskins. He didn’t try to force this new wine into the current system. He did what He knew needed to be done so that His Father’s Kingdom could flourish. He created new wineskins.

How many times do I look at what I can see with my eyes and make decisions on “what is normal?” How many times do I try to do what Jesus is telling me to do (new wine) by cramming it into the old way of doing it? It’s not going to work. When I try to take the “new” that Jesus is giving me and put it in the “old” that I am comfortable with, I dilute the new and water down the Message. I water down Jesus.

Oh Jesus, I know this is my tendency. My humanness wants to feel safe and not take risks. Please help me to step into the “new” that you call me to, no matter what the outcome. Please help us all. Pour out your Holy Spirit on us so we follow your lead. We love you, Amen

Digging In - Matthew 14:22-33

Immediately after this, Jesus insisted that his disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake, while he sent the people home. After sending them home, he went up into the hills by himself to pray. Night fell while he was there alone. Meanwhile, the disciples were in trouble far away from land, for a strong wind had risen, and they were fighting heavy waves. About three o’clock in the morning Jesus came toward them, walking on the water. When the disciples saw him walking on the water, they were terrified. In their fear, they cried out, “It’s a ghost!” But Jesus spoke to them at once. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “Take courage. I am here!” Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.” “Yes, come,” Jesus said. So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. “You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?” When they climbed back into the boat, the wind stopped. Then the disciples worshiped him. “You really are the Son of God!” they exclaimed.”  Matthew 14:22-33 NLT

 I think often we read this story of Peter walking on water and we think “Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. Why didn’t he trust Jesus?” I used to do that. Now, I realize I act like Peter on a pretty regular basis.

 One day, I’ll be really bold in my prayers. I say prayers like “Father God, I want to live for you! I want to do _________________. No matter what, please make my life what you want it to be.” 

Then things start to shift and change and my prayers become something like “I can’t do this. What are you doing? This is scary.” When I do this, I am Peter. One day I am bold and courageous, standing outside the boat. Next day I am insecure and afraid, jumping back into the boat. 

I love Jesus’ response to Peter. I don’t think he criticized him. He just asked the questions I so often hear in my spirit. “Why don’t you trust me?” I love how the Message puts it. Jesus says to Peter “Faint-heart, what got into you?” That’s me some days. Faint-heart. 

There are a few things that encourage me as I jump in and out of the boat. Jesus knows my inclination to want to feel “safe.” But because He loves me so very much, He’s working with me. Like Peter, he gently encourages me to trust Him. Can you imagine the conversation Peter and Jesus had as they walked back to the boat? 

Another thing that encourages me is Peter’s life. He went on to deny Jesus (guess he was jumping back into the boat at that moment). But, in 2 Peter 1:3-4 he says:

 “By his divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires.” (NLT)

 Peter figured out how to trust Jesus’ promises. Shortly after he wrote this, he went on to be crucified for his faith. History says that he asked to be crucified upside down. Guess in this moment he was out of the boat and he stayed there. He stayed out in the storm. 

 I am so thankful that Jesus never gives up on us. He keeps working with us…getting us to the place where we trust Him. Like Peter, I want to dig into the promises and know that no matter what, I can stay out of the boat because that is where I am truly safe. How about you?

Digging In - John 8:1-11

As I said in the last post, I am learning to dig deeper into the Bible. Here are a couple of things that I do to help me. There are more but this is a good place to start. 

 First, I pray. Honestly, I am not going to get anything out of this if the Holy Spirit isn’t helping me. 

 Next, I read the verses multiple times in different verses. I try to read it over a couple of days. I get more out of it if I spread it out and don’t try to cram it all in at once. As I’ve said in a previous post, I’m learning that the key to hearing what God is saying is to make time. 

 Then, I ask questions. What questions pop into my mind as I’m reading (I write these down)? What verses stand out? What verses keep drawing me back? What is it in those verses that are making me pause? Is there a detail that seems odd? Why is it there? If I were in the story, who would I be? Who is writing and to whom are they writing?

 Then, I keep coming back. I pray and I listen for what God is trying to tell me. Finally, what is the Holy Spirit saying to me about this text that is important to my life? What am I going to do about it? How am I going to apply this?  There is no point in reading the Bible if I am not going to do something with it. 

 Let’s try it. Read John 8:1-11 in a few different versions. What questions or thoughts did you come up with? What impressions did you get? How should you apply that to your life? Do the exercise and then look below to see what I walked away with. It’s good to share these thoughts with others…that way we can all grow into a deeper walk with Jesus. 

“Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.” 

John 8:1-11 NLT

Here are some of the questions/thoughts the Holy Spirit popped into my head.

How exactly did they “catch” her in adultery? Wouldn’t that be behind closed doors? Where was the man? You can’t get caught in adultery by yourself. 

As this woman was standing(?) in front of the crowd, I wonder how she felt. Was she waiting to feel the first pelt of a rock? Was she resigned to the fact that she was going to die? Did she care? How humiliating this must have been for her. Why was she an adulterer? What led her there?

Why did he stoop down to write in the dust? Was he writing a message to the woman? Was he writing to the men demanding an answer? To the crowd? 

When Jesus said “let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone”, why was it the oldest who left first? Were they more aware of their own sins? Did the younger guys just not get it? Did they leave only because they didn’t have the crowd to back them up?

In all of the distractions and chaos, Jesus never lost focus of the most important thing, the woman. If it were me, I would have been looking at the circumstances trying to figure out how to make it stop. Jesus wasn’t worried about himself. His heart was with the woman. 

Notice at the end what he said to her? I am not condemning you but stop doing this thing that is hurting you. I know he says the same thing to me. “I’ve covered you but I love you. Stop doing this thing that is hurting you/stopping you/making you less than.” Am I listening?

Question for myself: Do I ever get so caught up in a cultural norm or in what is happening around me that I forget to see the person God has put in my path? Yes, I do. What am I going to do about it? At this point, I as God for help because I know I cannot do this on my own.

How’d you do? What was your Holy Spirit take-away? 

Praying for your journey Friend! 

Love Letters

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. Psalm 119:105

My whole life I grew up being told “Read your Bible.” I heard it a lot at church. I heard it at school. I heard it from my grandmother. Actually, she lived that example. She always read her Bible. But to me, it was just something people said. It wasn’t something I always witnessed them doing and some of the people who said it didn’t act like they were actually doing it….if you know what I mean. 

As I grew in my relationship Jesus (that’s a whole other post), I prayed. I read devotionals. I read books, I listened to sermons and radio stations (no podcasts back then). I read my Bible by default because the books and devotionals had Bible verses in them. I didn’t often just read my Bible.

Fast forward a few years and the bottom fell out of my life. I won’t go into all the details here but I was afraid. Really afraid. I was afraid that my entire world was going to come crashing down around me. I could not fix it on my own (and believe me I tried). So I prayed. A lot. 

God first spoke when I woke up in the middle of this with a Bible verse in my head. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 Funny thing is, when it happened I thought “I think that’s a Bible verse.” I got out of bed and went and looked. Sure enough, there it was. I knew this was God talking to me. 

God’s direction during this time was “Wait.” And He let me wait for a long, long time. But during that time, He talked. He talked through friends. He talked through music but mostly, He talked through His Word. He kept bringing promise after promise to me and I wrote them down. I carried them around. Each day, I got up and went to read what He had to say in His Word. It truly became my love letters from God. And for the first time, I understood.

Years have passed and I have been reading my Bible. It’s been really amazing. Last year, in one of my discipleship meetings my friend said she wanted to learn how to study the Bible more. So we bought a book and workbook called “Living by the Book” by William and Howard Hendricks. We went through the book and workbook and learned different techniques. It was very helpful.

Do you know the biggest lesson we learned on that journey? If you want to dig into the Bible more, if you want to get more out of it, it takes …. Time. Like you, I often don’t think I have a lot of extra time. I’m busy….aren’t we all. But, in this journey, I realized I was trying to come to the Bible, get my quick fix and move on. I wasn’t making time to really let the Holy Spirit speak to me through it. I needed to read it, read it again and again and then ask questions. I needed to put myself into the text and figure out what God was trying to say to me. 

The more I did this, the clearer I could hear Him speak. The more I lingered, the deeper my experience. I love hearing Him talk through His Word. It is truly mind blowing.

Why am I sharing this? Because I think there are a lot of us who want to grow deeper in our walk with Jesus. We want to know him more and truly be His disciple. But we are busy. We don’t think we have the time. And we let our business interfere with our Journey. If you want a deeper walk with Jesus, you have to make room for Him. Carve out some time. Linger a little. Make it a priority and watch how Jesus speaks to your heart. It is truly life altering. 

Who's Holding Who?

For even if the mountains walk away and the hills fall to pieces, My love won’t walk away from you, my covenant commitment of peace won’t fall apart.” The God who has compassion on you says so.  Isaiah 54:10 MSG

 “Mom, can you watch the kids Thursday night?” My daughter asked. Of course! Spending time with our grandkids is one of our favorite things. As the evening wore down and bedtime approached, I started getting the youngest, who I refer to as “the Little Prince”, adjusted to the fact that play time was ending.

 After a few minutes, we headed for the stairs. He said “Yiayia will you carry me?” Sure. I hoisted him up and with a grunt, headed up the stairs. He’s not as light as he used to be. My husband said “Are you ok?” I said “Yes, I’m fine but thank you.” The Little Prince wrapped his arms around my neck and said “It’s OK Yiayia. I’m holding on to you.”

 And my heart melted.

 Later, as I thought about this it made me think of God. He is always holding us, carrying us, helping us on the journey. It is God who is doing the heavy lifting, not me. Yet sometimes, in my head, I put too much credit on what I am doing and I forget who is really holding me and carrying me. My trust shifts to my abilities and not my Father’s love and willingness to hold me.

 What if, like my grandson, I lean into this journey with God? What if I relax and wrap my arms around him and say “I’m here God, holding on”? What if I trust those arms that carry me and remember that I don’t have to strive so hard but trust that the love that carries me is real. 

 When the Little Prince said it was OK because he was holding on, I giggled and snuggled him and my heart melted. I believe God does the same thing. He sees us where we are, sometimes confused and misdirected, and He loves us. I believe He laughs with us like we do our kids and grandkids. I believe He leans in and showers us with a gentle love that is deeper and more forever than we can comprehend.  

How would it change us to seek that love? The love that is never, ever going to let you down. How would it change your heart to lean in and believe it was meant for you?

Messes Everywhere - But for One

When I think of messes, I think of toddlers learning to eat on their own. All the food goes everywhere except their mouths. I think of someone cooking in the kitchen who doesn’t “clean as they go” and the amount of pots, pans, utensils, bowls around when they are done their creation. I think of me when I am done painting a room. There is paint everywhere from my head to my toes.

 I think of people. People are messy. People say things, not nice things, which leave a lasting impact on others. Hearts are hurt and damage is done. People do things that make you shake your head and wonder “What were they thinking?” People are messy. 

 Hearts are messy. My heart is messy. One minute I am filled with anger at something and the next I am feeling compassion. Our hearts can be stubborn and want their own way and then in the next minute letting go of the stubborn and relinquishing control. If I dig down into the motives of why I do things, I see that my motives are not always Christ-like. Sometimes, they are genuinely filled with love. Other times, not so much. Hearts are messy.

 One thing that is never messy is God. Now, I know from experience that following God is often messy. This is because when we follow him it involves people and our hearts…which are messy. But God himself is not messy. We know who He is and what He is about.

 We know that God loves us. In spite of who I can be at times (not pretty), He loves me. Truly, give his own heart on a cross for me, loves me. He would move worlds if He thought it would be for my good. What he wants more than anything is to spend time with me and talk. 

 God also loves every single person on this planet. Every person. No matter how good or how bad they are. They are loved equally, unconditionally, giving his own heart on a cross for them. 

 What does God want from me? He wants me to love like that. When someone does something that makes me shake my head and want to put distance between us, I go to God and say “What do you want?” And He says “Love them.” My messy heart does not want to do this. I am comfortable with the distance. But if I want to be like Jesus, if I want to be like love, then I need to do it.

 The other cliché we hear all the time is “What would Jesus do?” I’d like to rephrase that and have us ask “What would love do?” In our world of hurt, and there is a lot of it, we need to take a step toward love by reacting and reaching with love. 

Joy

 ““This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. Anyone who trusts in him is acquitted; anyone who refuses to trust him has long since been under the death sentence without knowing it. And why? Because of that person’s failure to believe in the one-of-a-kind Son of God when introduced to him.” John 3:16-18 MSG

A little over a week ago a friend of mine lost her battle with cancer. I am still having trouble believing that she is gone. Her death was pretty sudden. Even though she had cancer, her heart stopped which was what caused her death. Even in this, God answered my prayer. We were praying for her healing but I asked him if he wasn’t going to heal her to please not let her suffer more than she already was. And while I miss her, I am thanking him that he took her suddenly and she didn’t suffer any more.

She was definitely an interesting character. All throughout her journey with this disease, she never gave up. She kept working. She kept living life. She fought. I really don’t think I ever heard her complain. When I asked how she was doing she’d say something like “Oh you know, a little nauseated from the chemo but I’m ok.” And then she’d say “How are you?” 

Even to the very end she would always ask “How are you?” I would wonder at this. Sometimes when I get into a mode where I am complaining about something going on in my life (way more trivial than fighting cancer), I forget to ask people how they are because I am so focused on me. And here was Joy, still thinking of others.

When the church would help folks who needed a hand, she would ask how she could contribute. Fighting cancer, doing chemo, working and she still was volunteering to help. 

We had some conversations at the end about what comes next. She wanted to talk about salvation and Heaven. Joy became very serious about her faith when she was diagnosed. She wondered if God wouldn’t accept her because it was later in her life. We talked about the thief on the cross who figured out who Jesus was at the last minute. Jesus didn’t say “Sorry you haven’t believed long enough.” He said “Surely, today you will be with me in paradise.”

She wondered if waiting until she was diagnosed was a problem. She used to say “You know, like buying fire insurance at the last minute.” There is the story of the prodigal son who didn’t turn back to his father until he was at the end of his rope. And the father ran to him and welcomed him with open arms.

And then we read today’s verse. And I think she knew. She knew God loves her and that he wants her to be his no matter when, no matter how. God isn’t there pointing fingers telling us we didn’t do it right. He is welcoming us. He is saying “Come. Just come. I love you.”

As we mourn Joy’s loss, we are comforted in knowing that we will see her again. We will see her in Heaven when we all get to celebrate Jesus together. I still miss her here but I know she is in a way better place and after I spend some time with Jesus, I am going to hang out with Joy and hug her tight!