Deep Down Heart-Work

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
    and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Psalm 51:10-11 (ESV)

I’m not sure how to describe what I am going to talk about today. But the scenario goes something like this.

At the end of the day or sometimes early the next morning as I’m praying, I talk to God about the day (or the day before) thanking him for the things in it. Sometimes during this prayer, God brings to mind something I said or did. And sometimes that makes me sad. It makes me sad because I did not glorify his name during those moments.

You see, I have a Peter personality. Things come out of my mouth that I may have said differently if I thought about it for half-a-second. Some days, I just note that I should have said that differently. But there are days when my heart is sad because my words revealed things deep down that I don’t always see. Maybe not to everyone else but God always understands. And, because he loves me, we talk about it.

It is in those days that I drop to my knees and let Jesus hone in on the root of the actions. During those times, I ask him to change the deep down things that want to put me first and not him. I tell him I’m sorry and I want it to be about him and not me. I ask him to create in me a clean heart and I pray that he will fill me with his Spirit.

David understood this. When he was confronted with his sin around Bathsheba, his heart broke. Instead of defending his decisions, he went to God and poured out his heart. I may be a Peter sometimes in my actions, but I want to be more like David in my heart. It’s in those surrendering moments that we will be changed.

True Rest

Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Matthew 11:28 (MSG)

When I was little, we would go spend the night at my Nana’s house. As she tucked me in, she would stroke my hair and sing me this song.

Here comes the sandman stepping so lightly,
Stealing along on the tips of his toes,
He sprinkles the sand with his own little hands,
In the eyes of the sleeping children,
Go to sleep my baby close your sleepy eyes,
The lady moon is watching from out the darkened skies,
The little stars are peeping to see if you are sleeping,
So go to sleep my baby go to sleep goodnight.

I remember her singing this to me and I remember being asleep before she finished the last line.

When Jesus invites us to come to him to get rest, he isn’t talking about stroking our hair and singing songs in our ears so we can go to sleep.

He’s talking about the rest that rejuvenates you; he is talking about the rest that sustains you. It gives you courage. Jesus’ rest inspires you and motivates you to keep moving. It gives you hope.

So, come to him. Look at him and learn to rest. Rest in the desires he places in your heart.

Family Focused

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. Ephesians 1:5 (NLT)

I am adopted. I was adopted very early on in my life and I’ve known about it since I was young enough to understand. Recently, I’ve found out more about my birth father and more siblings have been added into my family! I went from having 9 to having about 20 (maybe a little more.)

This whole experience made me think about Jesus and his lineage. It was super messy. In Matthew 1 there are some questionable characters mentioned. Maybe this is an example of why the Bible says he experienced the same things we do.

It also says we were adopted us into his family. God did this - before we even knew what was going on and it gave him great pleasure.

Jesus knew this because when he was asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” (Matthew 12:48-50)

Imagine that! How many brothers and sisters and mothers and fathers do we have now? TONS! And think about all the potential family members you have. Anyone who could choose Jesus as their Savior is a potential family member.

Maybe today, we should treat everyone with the love Jesus showed us when he adopted us. Maybe, we should look around and see all the family members we have and lean in and embrace each other. Jesus did. So should we.

When I Am Afraid....

David, the anointed one of God, was suddenly thrust into a life of chaos. He went from

living in the royal residence to living in caves
being served dinner on silver platters to hunting and scrounging for his food
being the favored one of Israel to being hunted
feeling safe and secure to never being able to relax

All because of Saul’s jealousy.

During these times, David wrote some amazing praises to God. Here are some of the words.

O Lord, I have come to you for protection;
    don’t let me be disgraced.
    Save me, for you do what is right.
2 Turn your ear to listen to me;
    rescue me quickly.
Be my rock of protection,
    a fortress where I will be safe.
3 You are my rock and my fortress.
    For the honor of your name, lead me out of this danger.
14 But I am trusting you, O Lord,
    saying, “You are my God!”
15 My future is in your hands.
    Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly.
16 Let your favor shine on your servant.
    In your unfailing love, rescue me. Psalm 31:1-3, 14-16 (ESV)

1 I will praise the Lord at all times.
    I will constantly speak his praises.
2 I will boast only in the Lord;
    let all who are helpless take heart.
3 Come, let us tell of the Lord’s greatness;
    let us exalt his name together.
4 I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me.
    He freed me from all my fears.
5 Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;
    no shadow of shame will darken their faces.
6 In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened;
    he saved me from all my troubles.
7 For the angel of the Lord is a guard;
    he surrounds and defends all who fear him.
8 Taste and see that the Lord is good.
    Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! Psalm 34:1-8 (ESV)

3 But when I am afraid,
    I will put my trust in you.
4 I praise God for what he has promised.
    I trust in God, so why should I be afraid?
    What can mere mortals do to me? Psalm 56:3-4 (ESV)

When things are upside down, turned inside out, look to your fortress. Look to Jesus. He promises never to leave you or forsake you. Trust him. He loves you..

Changing The Inside

If only you would prepare your heart and lift up your hands to him in prayer! Job 11:13 (NLT)

My church is doing a 40-day fast. For various reasons, I am not fasting from food but am doing a soul fast. A soul fast is where you fast from something else that you do on a regular basis, something that would be a sacrifice. I decided to fast from TV. There are a couple of things I noticed.

First, the goal of a fast is to get closer to God. It’s not about having the will power to give up something. I have to admit, at first it was harder than I thought. I didn’t realize how much watching TV was my comfort zone. When things were a little stressful, I turned on the TV. When I was tired, I turned on the TV. In the beginning, when I was tempted, I would pray. That’s a good start right?

As time went on, I wasn’t tempted in the same way but I noticed something. I was filling up the time that I would normally watch TV with other things….not praying things. Wait! Isn’t this supposed to be about seeking God? How easy it is for us to get into the routine of doing something (or not doing something) and forget the reason we were doing it in the first place.

I think the true discipline of fasting is not about not doing what I was doing but about reminding myself to seek God. If we make the fast the focus or we fill that time with other activities rather than God, our fasting is useless. God spoke to the Israelites about this in Isaiah. They were so busy fasting outwardly, they were completely missing the impact inwardly.

I don’t have this all figured out yet. Maybe, that is why we fast. Because we don’t have it figured out. Only God does. And in spending more time with him, praying and offering my heart, he can change what I care about.

Keep Running

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful. And now the prize awaits me—the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of his return. And the prize is not just for me but for all who eagerly look forward to his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:7-8 (NLT)

The story was told in Runners World magazine (8/91) of a woman named Beth Anne DeCiantis. You may have heard it but I am going to retell it here because it is so inspiring.

Beth was running to qualify for the Olympics in the marathon event. In order to qualify, a runner had to run the 26.2 miles in two hours and forty-five minutes. She started off well and ran without a problem until she hit mile 23. She had two minutes left to qualify as she headed into the last push. Her foot came down unevenly and she stumbled and fell. She knelt there dazed. She was down for 20 precious seconds. The bystanders yelled encouragement. She got up and began to walk. She had less than a minute left. She made it to five yards, ten seconds remaining and she fell again. The crowd yelled for her to get up! As the final seconds ticked away, it did not seem like she was going to make it. She started to crawl. Just as time was running out, she stretched and reached across the finish line on her hands and knees. She finished.

What inspires you? What causes you to keep running the race? Is it Jesus?

In 2 Corinthians 5:14 Paul says that the love of Christ’s love compels us. Not our love for him but his love for us. Paul’s life seems to always be a grueling race. He endured so much. Yes he was driven by one thing, Jesus love for him and sharing that with others.

Is that what motivates you today? Is that what inspires you? What drives you to keep going when the going gets tough? Jesus loves you. I hope that is what keeps you going.

Are You A Gideon?

Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
    I have called you by name; you are mine. Isaiah 43:1 (NLT)

In Judges 6 the angel of the Lord appeared to Gideon. He addresses him by saying "“Mighty hero, the Lord is with you!” Now this is rather odd because Gideon was actually hiding. The Bible says he was threshing wheat at the bottom of the wine press to hide the grain from the Midianites.

And later, as Gideon is called to do God’s work he says I can’t. My tribe is weak, my family is weak and I am weak. God reassures him.

Gideon again questions with “Show me a sign.” (As if an angel sitting in from of you isn’t enough of a sign.) The angel does and Gideon realizes it is an angel. The angel gives Gideon instructions to pull down the temple of Baal. Gideon, still afraid, decided to do it at night. Under cover.

Later, Gideon again is called to fight a battle and again he asks for a sign.

Do you see the pattern? God calls. Gideon doubts. God delivers. Gideon really seems like he is afraid of everything. And my thoughts turned to us. Aren’t we a little like Gideon? OK. Maybe a lot like Gideon. I want to sit here and say WOW! He was a chicken. But in reality, so am I sometimes.

God calls. We doubt and ask for signs instead of moving out when God says move. God gives signs and we ask “Is that you?”

I wonder if that is why God tells us not to be afraid so many times in the Bible. He knows that we need to hear it. A lot.

Let Not

You must not let yourselves be distressed—you must hold on to your faith in God and to your faith in me.  John 14:1 (PHILLIPS)

The day started off rather well. It was a bright morning, birds were singing and I was looking forward to accomplishing my tasks. Then, I remembered. I remembered a meeting I had that was not going to be fun. The knot grew in my stomach and I began to stress about it.

As I continued to ponder the possible outcomes, I got more anxious. Like, debilitating, can’t move forward anxious. And I thought, “This is going downhill fast. God, I need help.” Today’s verse popped into my head.

Let not your heart be troubled. You believe in God, believe also in Me. (that version my mom made me memorize when I was little.)

The words “Let not” began to resonate. Let not. Don’t let. Fight the anxiety. But how? Honestly, I wasn’t sure how do to that but I decided to stay focused on those words. At least if I had something to focus on, no one would see the turmoil inside.

As I drove to the meeting, the knot grew I repeated the verse. “Let not your heart be troubled.” Trust me.

As I walked into the building.

“Let not your heart be troubled.”

As I stood at the elevator. Uh oh. The feeling is getting worse.

“Let not your heart be troubled.”

And after each agenda item was read before we got to me. “Let not your heart be troubled.” Honestly, there were moments I couldn’t remember the verse! I’d have to turn my brain off of worry and search for the verse in my head. But when I found it, I felt better.

Gradually, every time I repeated the verse I noticed that I felt a little calmer. Pretty soon, I was calm enough to remember that no matter how it turned out, I trusted God to have it.

We got through the meeting and while it wasn’t great, it was better than I expected. There are still some things to walk through but I now have my go-to.

Don’t let yourself forget who God is. What you are looking at is stressful but God will walk you through it every single step of the way.