Deep Down Heart-Work

Create in me a clean heart, O God,
    and renew a right spirit within me.
Cast me not away from your presence,
    and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Psalm 51:10-11 (ESV)

I’m not sure how to describe what I am going to talk about today. But the scenario goes something like this.

At the end of the day or sometimes early the next morning as I’m praying, I talk to God about the day (or the day before) thanking him for the things in it. Sometimes during this prayer, God brings to mind something I said or did. And sometimes that makes me sad. It makes me sad because I did not glorify his name during those moments.

You see, I have a Peter personality. Things come out of my mouth that I may have said differently if I thought about it for half-a-second. Some days, I just note that I should have said that differently. But there are days when my heart is sad because my words revealed things deep down that I don’t always see. Maybe not to everyone else but God always understands. And, because he loves me, we talk about it.

It is in those days that I drop to my knees and let Jesus hone in on the root of the actions. During those times, I ask him to change the deep down things that want to put me first and not him. I tell him I’m sorry and I want it to be about him and not me. I ask him to create in me a clean heart and I pray that he will fill me with his Spirit.

David understood this. When he was confronted with his sin around Bathsheba, his heart broke. Instead of defending his decisions, he went to God and poured out his heart. I may be a Peter sometimes in my actions, but I want to be more like David in my heart. It’s in those surrendering moments that we will be changed.