Believe

“You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what he said.” Luke 1:45 (NLT)

Can I tell you a God Story? As I’ve posted in the past, we are planting a church. We’ve picked a name. We are “Called2Be”. We’ve been meeting since April 1st (virtually). Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor! During our meetings we pray and study the Bible. In July, we felt God say it’s time for an in person. We had a picnic. It was great!

During this time, we’ve been praying about where God wants us to “Be” community. Where can we serve? Where can we go and love on people. When I was praying about this, I kept seeing a building. It had a sloping roof in the front, and a porch. I also saw the back door and when you looked through it, there was a hallway with doors on both sides, and a bright light coming through the other end. I sensed that the front was a restaurant.

It took me a while to figure out that I kept seeing this same building. And I wondered “God, is this you showing me this?” I wondered that out loud to my husband and we started praying. We asked God if it was him sending this to please show us where the building was located.

In the meantime, I ask God what we should do for our next gathering. I heard prayer walk. Now, I probably shouldn’t say this out loud, being a Church Plant Pastor and all, but I’ve never gotten into the Prayer Walk thing. I’ve done it. And there are times when I felt God telling me to prayer walk someone’s house and I did that but overall, not my first choice of activities. But I said “OK. Where?” Nothing.

I kept praying for where and praying that God would show me the building. Eventually God said Called2Be was supposed to prayer walk Purcellville, VA. And like an obedient child I said “God, that’s kind of far away.” Don’t judge me. And then I said “OK. Purcellville it is.” In the meantime, I kept praying about the building.

One Monday, I felt impressed to drive to Purcellville on Wednesday. I had meetings for work strategically placed throughout the day so if I drove to Purcellville I would be rushed. I explained this to God. Late Tuesday evening, the Wednesday morning meeting cancelled.

I got in my car and I drove to Purcellville. I drove all over asking God to show me the building. Asking him which way and trying very hard to listen. Finally, I was getting tired of going all around the little town, up and down the main street and I asked if I could go home. He said yes. I turned my car around to head out of town on Main Street and as I was leaving I passed a building that caught my eye. I didn’t noticed it the 100 times (okay, maybe 4 or 5 times) I drove up and down that street because of the trees in front of it. I turned around and went in the parking lot.

It had a sloping roof and a front porch. “Oh God! It’s your building!” I parked the car and looked in the front door. The building was empty. There is a big For Sale or Lease sign in the front. It used to be a brewery/pub. I walked around to the back door on the side of the building. I looked through the door and I saw a hallway with doors on both sides and a bright light coming through the other end. Turns out it has two back doors. One on each side of the building.

I can’t begin to explain the feelings I had as I realized that God took me to His building. And guess what?! I prayer walked it! I prayed all around that building. That Saturday, Called2Be prayer walked it again and the main street of Purcellville.

I’ve been back to prayer walk it again. I want to hear what God wants and ask him to move. We are all praying! What’s next, God? What’s next?

This weekend I was on a Leadership Meeting for our Mother Church and the Pastor told us that her husband plays in a praise band at another church. The Pastor told her husband that there is a building in Purcellville that is vacant. It used to be a brewery and he feels like God is telling him he needs to do something for the community in that church! These are the same thoughts I’ve been having.

God is doing something. Not sure what yet but I can’t wait to find out! Will you pray with us? Pray for this little down of Purcellville, VA. Pray that people there will know God’s love. Pray that we will share that love in service to the community. Pray for all of our courage. When God moves, it usually takes you out of your comfort zone.

And where did today’s text come from? As all this was happening, I kept thinking “This is crazy. Is this you God or is this my crazy mind thinking things up? And why are you doing this? And what do you want? And this is just crazy. People are going to think I’m crazy when I tell them I saw a building and then found it but I don’t know what to do with it.” And God sent the text above and a few others about believing. Believe. He is alive. He is moving. Believe. I do. With all of my heart.

When I Am Afraid (or Uncomfortable)

When I get really afraid I come to you in trust. Psalm 56:3 (MSG)

The last few days I’ve had this knot in my stomach. You know, the knot that just sits there and if you even think for just a second about why it’s there, it grows so your entire body feels like a spring about ready to snap. That’s where my state of mind has been if I even pause for a second to think.

It’s not COVID that is making me feel this way. It’s another person. I found out that someone I care about has been doing something hurtful to me and others. And, I need to address it. And…I don’t want to.

There are a host of reasons I don’t want to but I assume they are the same reasons we use whenever we don’t want to do something. When we see an injustice and we need to confront it. When we need to establish boundaries in our life. When we have to make a decision to stand up for what is right when it’s really, really messy. When God calls us to do something and we can think of a host of reason why this isn’t going to work.

Being afraid isn’t always about fear for your physical self. Sometimes, it is just the fear of facing the uncomfortable. It is uncomfortable to tell someone what they are doing is harmful. It’s even more uncomfortable when you know (from past conversations) that they are not going to listen and you’ll have to take further action. All of this puts a knot in your stomach the size of Texas. Especially when you care about them.

This is where I’ve been sitting for a few days. And it’s made me drop to my knees. It’s made me plead with God for wisdom, peace and his love in my heart. It’s made me ask him why. Why would you allow this? Why did you put this person in my life? You knew this would happen. Why don’t they care?

As I’ve knelt there with all the questions circling in my head, I have been reminded of a few things.

1. God did know this from the beginning and he has a plan.

2. In all situations if I follow his lead, his name will be glorified. That is the most important thing.

3. I may not see all the reasons for everything now, but one day….maybe on the other side….I will understand. The most important thing right now is to keep walking.

4. I trust Him. I trust that he is walking this with me. I trust that he will breathe wisdom, courage, peace and most importantly his heart into this situation.

I still don’t like it. I wish I didn’t have to do this. But God is in it with me…..he promises….and I believe him.

Faith over Fear

For God has said, “I will never leave you; I will never abandon you.” Let us be bold, then, and say,

“The Lord is my helper,
    I will not be afraid.
What can anyone do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6 (GNT)

Yesterday was a hard COVID day. Someone we love very much was exposed to the virus. We are praying. Someone we love very much has a relative that has the virus and is in critical condition. We are praying. We know lots of people that are not working and are so unsure of what’s next. We are praying. We know people on the front lines working to help those in need. They are overwhelmed and exhausted. We are praying. We know people whose businesses are in real trouble. We are praying.

As I lay in bed this morning, I pondered all this. And slowly, slowly a fear began to grip my heart. There are so many people that need help. So many people that are facing unimaginable things. Lord, where are you? Why don’t you stop this? And as I went down this path, the fear began to grow into a knot in my stomach.

And the thought popped into my head “What do you put your trust in?”

And I remembered. I remembered that I put my trust in a God that will never leave me or forsake me. I remembered where my help comes from. (Psalm 121) I remembered that who I believe in can’t always be seen (Hebrews 11:1). I remembered that God is with us wherever we go. (Joshua 1:9) I remembered that when we walk through the waters, we will not be overcome. (Isaiah 41)

As I remembered, the knot in my stomach and the fear in my heart began to dissipate. I felt a peace. I know who holds the future. I trust him. I trust that he loves us. I will not be afraid.

At least for today….tomorrow I may need to remember again. And that’s OK.

Trusting When It's Weird

Remember the former things, those of long ago;
    I am God, and there is no other;
    I am God, and there is none like me.
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
    from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say, ‘My purpose will stand,
    and I will do all that I please.’
11 From the east I summon a bird of prey;
    from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose.
What I have said, that I will bring about;
    what I have planned, that I will do. Isaiah 46:9-11 (NIV)

The other day my husband told me that the grocery store across from his work had a line outside to go in. They would only let a limited number of people in at a time and when you were in there, they monitored how close you were to other people. This just seemed so weird to me.

The next morning, I realized we needed some food for the house so I decided to go to a grocery store near our home. I decided to go early just in case they would only let so many in at a time. I got there before the store opened and there were 2 people in line ahead of me. We were spaced strategically apart. I started a conversation with the woman in front of me and we were talking about how bizarre this all seemed.

People continued to come and get in line. Everyone was more or less spaced out. Some more careful than others. Some joined in the conversation and some didn’t. Here’s what I’ve noticed most though during this time. People’s eyes.

As you walk around the store (or anywhere for that matter), people are afraid. No one trusts anyone. There are looks of fear as we glance at each other almost afraid to make eye contact. They wonder where you’ve been. They wonder if you are secretly carrying a virus. They wonder if you can make them sick. I wonder if I say anything or interact if it is against the rules. The warmth is gone. The humanness is missing.

As I pondered this on the way home, I realized it would be super easy to get depressed in this situation. I am a people person and I just want to go up to people and hug them and love on them. (I’d probably get arrested.) I want to let them know that God is in control.

And he is. I know during times like these that is hard to see. I know that it seems like he’s not if he is allowing this to happen. But he is. God is still God. He has not relinquished his authority over our world. He is still all-powerful and completely in control of everything.

I don’t know why he is allowing all this. I ask him to take it away. But, I do trust him. I trust his decisions and I trust what he allows. I know his plan is more complex than my understanding. Most importantly, I trust his love. How can I not? If I don’t, then I don’t trust Jesus either. And I think that would be more devastating than any virus.