And Jesus concluded, “So those who are last will be first, and those who are first will be last.” Matthew 20:16 (GNT)
I had back to back meetings scheduled. It was one of those days where the list of things to do was longer than the hours available. So my mind went into “get ‘er done” mode. You know, super focused on the task at hand.
Right now, all my meetings are via Zoom or Teams. I joined the meeting scheduled with Andy. And I waited. And waited. Where was he? I checked the meeting invite and he accepted. So, I waited some more all the while thinking about how I had too much to do to sit here and wait.
After 10 minutes I disconnected. I sent Andy an email and said “Something must have come up since you didn’t join. Let me know when you want to reschedule.” I was polite because this was business but inside I was annoyed. This was not professional. A simple text if you get hung up will suffice or an email or something.
Two minutes after I disconnected Andy reached out and said “I got caught up on another meeting. Can you join now?” My first inclination was to say “No. My time is important. You don’t get to stand me up. You couldn’t text? You couldn’t connect? No! I’m busy.” BUT, I’ve been trying to practice abiding in Jesus and not my own thoughts so I asked God “Do you want me to join this meeting?” He said “Be a servant.”
Great. I didn’t feel much like being a servant but that was pretty specific so I told Andy I could.
As we talked he explained that he was in a meeting with someone who didn’t allow phones so he couldn’t text. The person was pretty high up in the food chain too so if the meeting goes long, you aren’t going to tell them you have to go. Then, he asked me about the project I was leading and offered to help in any way he could to make it easier for me. He also affirmed the work I was doing.
After I hung up, I reflected on the meeting and how positive it ended up being even when my attitude wasn’t. And then I realized something else. God didn’t say “Join the meeting because Andy has a good reason.” He didn’t say “Join the meeting because he’s going to affirm and help you.” He said “Be a servant.”
It reminded me that God isn’t as interested in my to do list as he is my heart. He is more interested in how I treat people even when I am feeling overwhelmed with too much to do. He is interested in who I am becoming on the inside. He wants me to become last in a world of people trying to be first.
I am sure I have a lot to learn on this abiding journey. I am sure I will become too task focused again in the future (that is how I’m wired) but I know He will keep teaching me and growing me. PRAISE!