But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Their loyalty is divided between God and the world, and they are unstable in everything they do. James 1:6-8 (NLT)
God showed up to Israel when they cried out to him because they were reduced to starvation by the Midianites. He showed up to Gideon. God called Gideon to be part of the story.
God led Gideon step by step through His plan. When Gideon was unsure, God reassured him with signs. When Gideon doubted, God showed up again. God worked many miracles and consistently showed up for Gideon and Israel. God won the battle for Israel with trumpets, glass jars and torches and chased away thousands of soldiers. But Gideon turned out to be wishy-washy.
After the battle, the people of Israel wanted to make Gideon king. To his credit, he said “No, only God is your King.” But then he flipped on this stance and said “But, if you want to pay me homage you can each give me a gold earring from your loot.” They did and Gideon amassed 43 pounds of gold. Which he promptly turned into a massive gold ephod that he and his family worshiped (along with the rest of the town.) So much for God being their King.
As I read this story and I shake my head at Gideon’s lack of trust in God, I realize that I too am a Gideon. God shows up in my life. I see it! Then, when something outside of my comfort zone comes up, I get scared. And I go to him and say “Will you please show me that this is you? I need a sign.” I go from being bold and moving forward to being scared and stuck.
And in the midst of it, I make mistakes and I do things I want to do instead of what I know God is calling me to do. I don’t craft a gold ephod, but I sometimes get distracted with money and things and pray more for that than I do for God’s Kingdom. So I too am a Gideon.
Where does that leave me? It leaves me thankful.
Thankful that God is as patient with me as he was with Gideon. He shows up when we are weak and takes that weakness and does miraculous things with it. He doesn’t stop trying because we get scared.
Thankful that Jesus lives in me. In this very frail, sometimes messed up body, is the power of Jesus Christ – living – helping – changing. As long as I keep looking at him and reaching for him, he will change me. He will take my ways and make them his ways. He will grow me to live like he would live.
Thankful for a Savior. Jesus died for Gideon. And he died for me. He died to cover my sins, my mistakes, my misguided decisions.
There is another thought about Gideon. I am sad for him. He really missed out. When we turn from what God is calling us to and try to fill it with our own stuff – whether they be golden ephods or some other thing – we miss God. Gideon got to see first hand what God could do! He got to see his glory! He got to see him work amazing miracles. He got to write a story with God and know him personally. In the end, he chose a piece of metal, lots of wives and kids instead of a relationship with God. I can’t imagine they filled up his heart like the adventures he had when God was involved in his life.
I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to just hear stories about God. I want to be in a story with God. I want my life to be a God story! What about you? What are you choosing that is keeping you from your God story?