I know, my God, that you examine our hearts and rejoice when you find integrity there. 1 Chronicles 29:17 (NLT)
I’ve mentioned recently that I have a big decision to make and I’ve been praying through it. God has been talking. I don’t have a definitive answer yet but I wanted to share something that really stood out to me.
As I look at what I think God is calling me to do, it seems impossible. Like, really humanly impossible. My initial reaction is to look at the all the reasons it won’t work. And then I remember that No Thing with God is impossible.
Then, my brain starts trying to figure out ways that I can make it work. Have you ever come up with ideas that you know are somewhat unethical? I did. My brain started thinking of ways I could do what seemed impossible by walking the very fine line between being unethical and not technically being unethical.
And then God said “What are you doing?”
You see, what I am trying to do is make this work in my head. I am trying to figure out how to be comfortable with what God is asking. I am trying to figure out something that is not mine to figure out. I am trying to not be scared.
If God is calling me to this thing, then God will work it out. That is his job. Not mine. When I begin to compromise the way God is calling me to live so that I can be in control, then I have made the wrong choice. That choice is to trust me and not God.
My job is to obey the call and trust that God will work it out even if it seems impossible to my limited human vision. God’s job is to do all the rest. And let’s face it. When I obey and God works it out, who will get the glory? Certainly not me! I am struggling to get past thinking it’s impossible. God will get the glory. And that is exactly as it should be.
The real question becomes “Do I trust him enough?”