The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming. Romans 8:18
There is a common misconception that if God loves us, everything would go our way. Our plans would work out. Nothing bad would happen to us. Life would be rosy. Truly, that is what we think and it is a misconception.
Let's look at two people in the Bible, Job and Mary. Job did everything right. The Bible says he was a man of complete integrity. God used him as an example to Satan when he said "Have you noticed my servant Job?" (Job 1) But Job's life was not rosy. Everything started going wrong. He faced death of his loved ones, loss of his wealth and some serious health problems. God loved Job and was proud of him. So....what's up with that?
Fast forward to Mary. An Angel appears to her and says "Greetings, favored woman. You have found favor with God." And oh by the way you are going to become pregnant out of wedlock which means she will be ostracized and possibly stoned to death. She was favored and her life was about to collapse around her. As an average human just trying to get by, it makes me want to tell God that I am OK not being favored.
As you walk through their journeys, yes, there was a lot of turmoil, pain, and heartache. And yes, there are some downright gut wrenching moments. Can you imagine standing at the foot of the cross your son was hanging on? But you can't leave the story there. What did they end up with?
They ended up with God. At the end of the chaos, Job says "I had only heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes." (Job 42) He knew God. He had more of God. And Mary....she spent her life interacting with God in person. I can imagine she knew him rather well. But they wouldn't have known this when the journey started. They would have only glimpsed it (and probably not fully) in the end.
What you see is not always what you get. Remember that as you are digging into your faith bucket. Keep focusing on God - trust that he is in it. And like Job and Mary in the end you'll be able to say "It was sooooo worth it."