The Ultimate 'Loving Others' Lesson

After breakfast Jesus asked Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter replied, “you know I love you.” “Then feed my lambs,” Jesus told him. Jesus repeated the question: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” “Yes, Lord,” Peter said, “you know I love you.” “Then take care of my sheep,” Jesus said. A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep. John 21:15-17 (NLT)

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved him. Some of that may have been because Peter denied him three times - maybe Jesus was giving him the opportunity to redeem himself. In studying this though it's interesting to note the words Jesus uses for love. The first two times he asked Peter, he used the word agape. Agape means unconditional love. It's the way God loves us and the ideal for how we should love others. When Peter answers Jesus, he uses a different form of the word love, phileo. Phileo means brotherly love, the love you would express toward a friend.

The third time Jesus answered he asks Peter if he loves him using the word phileo. I always found it interesting that Jesus didn't start with phileo and move up to agape. Isn't agape the ideal? Shouldn't we all strive for that unconditional love? Shouldn't Jesus be setting the example of how we strive to love each other?

He was. You see, first Jesus was communicating to Peter that he wanted his love. He was showing Peter not only was he loved but Jesus wanted his love in return. The gospel is not about a one-sided love arrangement. Second, Jesus was telling Peter the kind of love he ultimately wanted from him but when Peter couldn't deliver it, Jesus met him where he was.

You see, Jesus knew exactly where Peter was and he knew he couldn't get to the unconditional love yet. Jesus accepted where Peter was and encouraged him. So often we expect people to 'be' what we think they should be or be where we are. It doesn't work that way. Jesus left us with the ultimate lesson in loving others. He showed us how to meet them where they are and accept them there.

Maybe Messy Is A Good Thing

So he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” John 13:4-7 (NIV)

We've heard this story a million times it seems...every time I read it, it'd remind me how we need to be washed clean of our sins.

But this week, I noticed something different - the dirty feet. I'll admit - I was a bit grossed out. Have you ever worn sandals and walked around an area with a little dirt before? And have you ever taken a look at your feet at the end of the day? DISGUSTING!

That's NOTHING compared to the disciples. They had been walking around different  towns with Jesus, in sandals I'd imagine, through the dirt, mud, rain. These were not the steets you and I are used to, friends.

But amidst the messiness, I heard God tell me, I love their dirty feet.

That's when I realized - Our feet should be so dirty from doing God's work, from walking with people IN THEIR MESS, that at the end of the day, they have to be cleaned. 

I thought about my own feet. Are they dirty at the end of the day? Are they so full of grime and mud that I have no choice but to scrub away the dirt at the end of the day? Have I used them to do God's work?

Maybe being messy isn't such a bad thing after all. 

A Minute In It - Green Pastures

A little time in the Word every day changes you. Take a few minutes, put yourself in these verses and ask yourself a few questions.

The Eternal is my shepherd, He cares for me always.
2 He provides me rest in rich, green fields
    beside streams of refreshing water.
    He soothes my fears;
3 He makes me whole again,
    steering me off worn, hard paths
    to roads where truth and righteousness echo His name.

4 Even in the unending shadows of death’s darkness,
    I am not overcome by fear.
Because You are with me in those dark moments,
    near with Your protection and guidance,
    I am comforted.

5 You spread out a table before me,
    provisions in the midst of attack from my enemies;
You care for all my needs, anointing my head with soothing, fragrant oil,
    filling my cup again and again with Your grace.
6 Certainly Your faithful protection and loving provision will pursue me
    where I go, always, everywhere.
I will always be with the Eternal,
    in Your house forever.
Psalm 23 (VOICE)

What does it mean for someone to be your shepherd? How has God cared for you recently? How does God comfort you? What does it mean to have your cup filled? Have you seen evidence of God's pursuit of you? What does it look like?

What other questions does this make you think of?

Ch-Ch-Ch Changes

There was a man of the Pharisee sect, Nicodemus, a prominent leader among the Jews. Late one night he visited Jesus and said, “Rabbi, we all know you’re a teacher straight from God. No one could do all the God-pointing, God-revealing acts you do if God weren’t in on it.”
Jesus said, “You’re absolutely right. Take it from me: Unless a person is born from above, it’s not possible to see what I’m pointing to—to God’s kingdom.” “How can anyone,” said Nicodemus, “be born who has already been born and grown up? You can’t re-enter your mother’s womb and be born again. What are you saying with this ‘born-from-above’ talk?”
Jesus said, “You’re not listening. Let me say it again. Unless a person submits to this original creation—the ‘wind-hovering-over-the-water’ creation, the invisible moving the visible, a baptism into a new life—it’s not possible to enter God’s kingdom. When you look at a baby, it’s just that: a body you can look at and touch. But the person who takes shape within is formed by something you can’t see and touch—the Spirit—and becomes a living spirit. John 3:1-6 (MSG)

This whole being born again thing can be a little confusing. I like the way The Message puts it. You have a body. You have a spirit. The body, whether it is a baby or an adult, can be seen and touched. The spirit cannot be seen or touched. The spirit is going to grow and become something. And that is the key, right? What is the something it will become?

That is the job of the Holy Spirit. Once we accept Jesus as our Savior and invite him into our life, the Holy Spirit gets busy. He starts to talk to us about lots of different things; how we love each other; the activities we are doing that keep God at a distance and so on. He talks to us about who God really is and shows us how involved he is in our lives. This process begins to change us from the inside out.

Often we say that God is not talking to us or we can't see him but if you look at your life and your thought patterns, I bet you could recognize how you've changed. If you have been convicted of a behavior that needs adjusting, if you've recognized God in anything, if you have had a change of heart about people or sin, God is working in your life. You are being born again.

Being born again is sometimes very subtle. It is a quiet changing of who you are into what God wants you to be. In my case, it has happened over years. Don't be fooled. This is still a God thing. You are experiencing him. You are experiencing his power.  He is intimately involved in your life. And, oh by the way, it's a process. Sometimes it is super messy. It will go on until Jesus comes again so relax and let God be God. He loves you too much to give up on you.

Loving Where They Are

Do to others as you would like them to do to you. Luke 6:31 (NLT)

A while ago I spent the weekend with some folks. We were going to hang out together. So, I planned some activities for us to do. I was super surprised when they weren't appreciative. As a matter of fact, they complained about the stuff we were doing. I got through the weekend and thought "Man, I will never do that again." I was annoyed.

Later in the week I was talking to God about it and asking him to make them more appreciative and thankful. And God revealed something to me that made me have an "AWWWW Come On!" moment. Do you know what that is?  That is when God shows you that your thinking is skewed. And because he does this you have to adjust your mindset and choose a new path. I both love and hate these moments at the same time. OK. I only hate it when I am still really mad about something. Mostly, I am uncomfortable with them. I am uncomfortable with them because God is showing me that my thinking is wrong which means I have to change. I love them because they are so personal to me that I know he is involved with what I'm saying to him and what I am doing. There is nothing better than when God talks to you.

Anyway, as I was walking along and talking to him and asked him to make these people more thankful, he asked me "Did you plan the activities they would like or the activities you would like?" I think I may have stopped walking. I planned stuff I thought they would like but the activities probably leaned more toward what I would like.

That made me think of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman that talks about how we love our spouses (and others) according to our own love language when we should love them according to theirs. For example, if my husband's love language is Words of Affirmation but I keep trying to give him gifts, I am not reaching him where he is. He may not care anything about gifts. So the goal is to learn the love language of the person you are trying to love and love them that way. Then, the bible text "Do unto others as you would like them to do unto you." popped into my head.

I realized that when we love others, we should love them where they are not how we think they should be loved. The two can be so, so different. If someone I know needs a new pair of shoes and I give them a hat, what good is that? Or if it is more meaningful to them to drive around the country but I take them to the city, will that be special to them? I think this loving others where they are thing is hard to do. We naturally migrate toward loving people in the way we are comfortable. Jesus did it really well. He listened to people and saw their hearts and loved them exactly how they needed. He still does. So I guess if we are going to learn to do this, we will have to learn from the Master. Lots of love lessons there......I suppose I have many more "AWWWW Come On!" moments ahead of me.

It [Love] does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV)

The Great Adventure

Around midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the other prisoners were listening. Suddenly, there was a massive earthquake, and the prison was shaken to its foundations. All the doors immediately flew open, and the chains of every prisoner fell off! The jailer woke up to see the prison doors wide open. He assumed the prisoners had escaped, so he drew his sword to kill himself. But Paul shouted to him, “Stop! Don’t kill yourself! We are all here!” Acts 16:25-28 (NLT)

Paul and Silas were in prison, shackled with huge ankle chains. They had just been severely beaten. There are a couple of things that made me say "What?" as I read this. The first amazing thing was they were praying and singing. So I can kind of get that. You are in prison, shackled; it is conceivable that as a Christian you would go to God. What I find completely astounding is what happened after the earthquake. They stayed put! Here you are, singing and praying - I'm assuming they would be praying for their release right? There is an earthquake so violent the doors fly open and the shackles break free from your ankles. Wouldn't you see that as a sign from God that you should get out of there? I would think "Look! God answered our prayers. Let's go." But they didn't.

The next verse says that after the jailer realized they were still there he said "Tell me about this God you serve." I am sure he was thinking "You are different because of him." And he'd be right. What would motivate two men to risk death or at a minimum another beating just to save this man? Paul talks about it throughout the New Testament.

Paul met Jesus, he was convicted that he was the Messiah and he knew he was called to participate in this Great Adventure. In 2 Corinthians 5 he explains some things that give us a clue as to his mindset. In 2 Corinthian 5:13 he says "I know we may seem crazy but it is for God's glory." He knows that the things he does sounds nuts - like staying in a prison when you should be running - but he is living out his passion. He also says that since Jesus died for everyone and people who say yest to that invitation no longer live for themselves. Instead they live for Christ. And everyone is so important that we stop looking at each other from a human perspective but see people from a God perspective. (vs 15-16) He goes on to say that now our job is to show people who Jesus was and to reintroduce them to God. We are God's ambassadors. We are here to help people grow in their relationship with God. (v 18-20)

Paul very clearly knew what his mission in life was. It is the same mission we all share. Once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior, our calling is to share Jesus and love others so passionately that we will even be willing to sacrifice ourselves for it. I know that last statement ruffles some feathers. It is not our nature to put ourselves last and others first. But God says we should and Jesus did. It takes a relationship to be able to get there. The Great Adventure we are called to is not normal. It is not logical. But it is the Adventure of a lifetime. Nothing else will compare. And as Paul says "We may seem crazy but it is for God's glory." Let the Adventure begin!

An Unlikely Comfort Zone

You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me. I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near and nothing can shake me. Psalm 16:5-8 (GNT)

Recently, a friend and I were sharing about how chaotic life has become. I realized in talking to her how much I have changed. I used to be a planner. Now, don't get me wrong, I still plan but I used to plan everything. I was proud of the fact that I was super organized and that I could get a lot of stuff done because of it. This was my comfort zone. Everything was organized and everything went as planned (mostly).

Fast forward a few years. My life has taken twists and turns that have been unforeseeable and totally out of my control. You can obviously tell in the paragraph above that control was important to me and it was kept me comfortable. So you can also imagine how hard this was to deal with.

Have you ever been in this place? You want to control something but you can't so you pick something super ridiculous and hold fast. This happened to me when my husband brought home a new frying pan and I had a mini-fit. I am not proud of this and when I shared the story with my friend, she laughed and summed it up correctly when she said, "Elaine, that is just wrong." Thank God for good friends who can laugh with you at your ridiculous moments. I realized after my mini-fit that I wasn't really mad about the frying pan, I was still trying to hold on to some semblance of control. I went to my knees.

God has since been working on my heart. He is teaching me that the only person really in control is him. I am not in control and never will be. He is teaching me to have a new comfort zone. It has nothing to do with planning or controlling. It has everything to do with trust. Because I am learning to trust him, I can face a totally out-of-control, uncomfortable situation and go to my comfort zone. I talk to God, read my Bible and turn it over.  I am learning to relax in his presence and in the knowledge that everything is under control.....just not my control. I am learning to love my new comfort zone.  Instead of figuring out how to make it work the way I want, I can look to see how God is working it out.

I am still a work in progress but thank God, he's not finished with me yet!

Minute In It - Love Differently

I heard the words of a new song by Reba McEntire called "Back to God." One of the lines stood out to me. The line said "We can't love like this."

Today's Minute In It talks about how we are supposed to treat each other. Read through it and then answer the questions at the bottom.

Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone. Romans 12:9-18 (NLT)

• What does it look like to pretend to love others? Do you think that you have to fake it til you make it when it comes to loving difficult people?
• What would really loving them instead look like?
• How much do I cherish what is good versus what is evil?
• What does it look like to honor someone?
• How would I go about honoring someone I love? How would I go about honoring someone I don't particularly like?
• Do I pray for the people who persecute me?
• Do I live my life reflecting Jesus no matter what my personal opinion?

What questions does this text make you think of?